


The Storm

by My_Trex_has_fleas



Series: Land and Sea [14]
Category: Poldark - All Media Types, Return to Treasure Island (TV 1996)
Genre: Character Death, Deployment, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Gun Violence, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-03-19
Packaged: 2018-05-13 18:41:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5712985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/My_Trex_has_fleas/pseuds/My_Trex_has_fleas
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is going back on deployment to the Cairbbean. Ross has to get used to being without him.</p><p>ON HIATUS</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preview

**Author's Note:**

> So here we are again :)
> 
> This is just a holding chapter to get everyhting in line for the series. First update will be next week :)

The phone rang at three in the morning. It rang seven times and then rang off by the time Ross got downstairs. The other two were at the top of the stairs and they both looked down at him. They all looked at the phone and waited, all of them holding their breath. 

It rang again and they all jumped. Ross grabbed the receiver.

‘Hello?’ It came out low and breathless. There was nothing on the other side except for the sound of breathing. Ross slumped back against the wall. Holmewood and Carter looked at each other and retreated to give him his privacy.

‘Is that you, baby?’ he asked and the breathing hitched a little. He sighed deeply and slid down the wall so he was sitting down on the floor. ‘God, Jim this is killing me.’

‘I know.’ Jim’s voice was rough. ‘We just have to hang in there a little longer.’ Ross closed his eyes, pressing the palm of his hand to his forehead. 

‘I don’t know if I can.’ he said. ‘I’m on the verge of fucking flying to Nicaragua with the boys and coming to get you myself. I just want you to come home.’

‘I’m sorry, I can’t do that Dave.’ Jim said in a monotone and Ross choked out a laugh.’

‘You bastard. Remind me to never let you go again when you get back.’ he said. ‘Never.’

There was the sound of shouting in the background. It sounded Spanish.

‘Fuck, I have to go.’ Jim said.’ I love you.’ 

‘I love you.’ Ross said. ‘Please be careful, Jim.’ 

‘You know me.’ Jim was trying to sound upbeat. ‘I’ll try call you if I can in the next couple of days.’ The shouting got closer and then the call disconnected. Ross let his head fall back against the wall.

‘Fuck.’ he whispered to himself. ‘You better come back in one fucking piece, Hawkins.’

********

Jim replaced the receiver and stepped out of the phone booth, thankful that they were still used in this stretch of rural coast. He watched as Silver came down the road gesticulating at the man he was walking with. He went to meet them, and Silver gave him a look. 

‘Who were you calling?’ he asked in English. Jim looked right back, gaze steady.

‘None of your fucking business.’ he replied in the same and Silver grinned broadly.

‘It was that girl in that shithole we were in last week, wasn’t it?’ he said and Jim gave him an answering smile.

‘You got me.’ he said. ‘With any luck I’ll have a bed to sleep in when we go back.’ Silver barked a laugh and slapped him on the shoulder.

‘I got the gasoline we needed.’ he said. ‘We should get the fuck out of here, yeah?’

‘Yeah.’ Jim said. He cast one look back at the phone and then followed Silver down the dust road.


	2. Hearing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the end of January and time for Jim to deploy but not before Ross has his hearing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This picks up after Riptide and the events which followed.

The door to the room muffled the sound of the voices inside, and apart from that the whole building was filled with the kind of hushed silence often associated with serious matters. It was broken only by the occasional clip of boots as someone passed. 

Not for the first time that day the tension got too much for Jim and he got up from the bench he was sitting on to walk it off, pacing up and down the stretch of corridor he was in, his dress shoes adding to the staccato echoes. He stopped at a window, looking out and chewing on his thumb nail, his anxiety playing havoc with his composure. After all the drama that had happened at Christmas he was on edge, and the fact that he had only three days until he was due to deploy wasn’t helping matters. 

He looked back at the door. Ross had been inside for over an hour and a half already. Jim had known the hearing would take a while, but he hated the waiting nonetheless and it was mostly because of how completely he helpless he felt simply standing around while Ross’ fate was being decided on the other side of the door. Two female lieutenants came down the corridor towards him, and they looked at him in frank curiosity. Jim knew he stood out in his dress blues, clearly a naval officer in a place naval officers had no business being. He gave them a nod and they continued past him.

The sound of voices made him turn and he saw the door being opened from inside. He heard Ross’ deep voice and then he was there, coming out of the door. He closed it behind him and then took his beret from his shoulder and out it on. Like Jim, he was in his No. 1 uniform, the khaki and black accenting his dark good looks. Under normal circumstances, Jim would have taken his time to admire him but not today. He gave Ross a questioning look as he crossed the corridor and got to him.

‘And?’ he asked. Ross shook his head.

‘Outside.’ he said, his face giving nothing away. Jim nodded, picking up his cap from the bench and putting it on. Ross walked a step behind him, hand automatically going to the small of his back as he escorted Jim through the doors and down the stairs to the front desk where they stopped briefly and he signed them out. The whole time, Jim felt the tension between them rising as they left the building and walked across the camp, heading to the car park. By the time they got to his car, it was almost unbearable. He had decided to bring Ross, knowing that he was far too nervous to drive.

They got in, Jim taking his cap off and chucking it in the back seat. Then he turned and looked at Ross. Ross looked back at him, then sighed heavily. Jim could hear the relief in it and instantly felt better. But it was still at odds with Ross’ look of resignation.

‘So, are you going to tell me or do we have to play Twenty Questions?’ he asked. Ross let his head fall back against the headrest.

‘No negligence or misconduct on my part with regards to the patrol. I’ve been completely cleared of all concerns.’ he replied. At his words, Jim felt all his anxiety evaporate. 

‘Thank fuck for that.’ he said. ‘What about your evaluations?’

‘Passed the physical with flying colours.’ Ross said. He looked out the window and Jim knew what was coming before he even spoke. ‘But the official stance on my psychological evaluation is that I am no longer fit for frontline deployment. Liuetenant Carne is of the opinion that it would be extremely detrimental for my mental wellbeing for them to send me back.’

‘Demi said that?’ Jim asked. ‘I didn’t even know she was there.’

‘Thankfully it was her and not Warleggan.’ Ross replied. ‘Otherwise I might well be o the then end of a medical discharge. She was already there when I went in. He looked down at his hands. ‘So that’s it. I am basically benched.’

‘Which means what?’ Jim asked. He was cautious about pressing too hard so he kept his tone neutral, even as the butterflies raged in his stomach. ‘If they’re not discharging you what are they planning to do with you?’

‘Well, the option they offered me was to stay exactly where I am.’ Ross said. He leaned one elbow on the car door and put his head in his hand. ‘Apparently Barrymore is very happy with what I’ve been doing and wants to keep me on as a permanent member of the training department. So I have a few days to think about it and let them know my decision. If I turn that down, then who the fuck knows.’ He tried to give Jim a small smile, but couldn’t quite do it.

‘Well, that’s good right?’ Jim asked. ‘They’ve offered a position in the training regiment rather than dismissing you outright. I think that’s a good thing.’ He shrugged. ‘I know I’m being incredibly selfish when I say this but personally I couldn’t be happier that they’ve made that decision. The last place I want you is anywhere you could get hurt.’ That finally got a smile out of Ross. He leaned over and put his hand to Jim’s face and kissed him. 

‘I know.’ he said when he pulled back. ‘And my head is telling me the exact same thing, that I should be over the moon about this. It’s just…’

‘A desk job?’ Jim asked and Ross nodded.

‘A desk job.’ he repeated. 

‘Well, you have a few days.’ Jim said. He let Ross sit back, and then did up his seat belt and started the car. ‘But for now, I say we get the fuck out of here.’

‘Aye-aye Lieutenant.’ Ross said, pulling his seat belt over his shoulder. 

*******

They got back to Bovington about two hours later. Jim parked in the drive behind Carter’s car and Ross got out and went to go unlock the front door. Jim followed him after locking the car. He could see a conflict of emotions in Ross. He was by turns relaxed and despondent, the slope of his shoulders going up and down by turns. Jim was worried. He knew Ross was still a little fragile even after all his work with Demelza. The disinheritance and disowning by his parents had set Ross back quite a bit, and all the mothering from Rose and himself hadn’t been enough to fix it. Ross was still in that stage of deep denial, refusing to even speak about it at this point. 

And this was just more fuel to the fire. 

He went into the house and closed the door behind him. Ross was already in the kitchen, kettle on and his beret on the table. Jim hung his cap up on the hooks by the door and went to stand in the doorway. He stared at the broad expanse of khaki, and decided to chance it. 

‘So,’ he started. ‘I was thinking we could get something in tonight, maybe watch some films if you want.’ He came in, moving up behind Ross and putting his arms around him. ‘Maybe we can talk about this.’ Ross stiffened in his arms and then finally relaxed. He turned and put his arms around Jim’s neck, forearms resting on Jim’s shoulders. 

‘I’d like that.’ he said, his voice low. ‘This month has been incredibly shit.’ He looked at Jim and his hazel eyes were troubled. ‘I wish you weren’t going.’

‘I know, baby.’ Jim replied. ‘But I have to.’

‘Eight months seems like forever right now.’ Ross said. He reached for the back of Jim’s head, fingers toying with his hair. ‘I am going to miss you so much.’ Jim looked back up at him, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed in his chest.

‘Me too.’ he replied. ‘But this time you know what to expect. And this time we’ll do it properly.’ He stepped in closer. ‘This time we talk to each other. This time we don’t hide anything from each other.’ Ross was gazing at him steadily.

‘All right.’ he said. 

***********

They chucked all caution to the wind and ended up with a bucket of fried chicken and chips and all four Alien films. 

They had finished eating and were now on the sofa. Ross was sitting with his socked feet in Jim’s lap, hugging a cushion and pulling faces at the screen every time the alien killed someone. Jim wasn’t sure what was more adorable, that or the little gasps he made when something freaked him out. He had to confess that watching horror films with Ross was one of his favourite activities. 

‘Oh fuck, no.’ Ross said. On the screen Charles Dance had just had his skull punctured. He looked at Jim. ‘How the fuck do you find this entertaining?’

‘Because I have a decent constitution for blood and gore and xenomorphs.’ he said with a grin. ‘And watching you watch this is all the entertainment I need.’ They fell back into silence, then Ross shifted and Jim looked at him. 

‘What is it?’ he asked. Ross looked suddenly serious. 

‘I’m going to take it.’ he said. ‘The training position.’ Jim raised his eyebrows at him.

‘You’ve just decided this now?’ he asked, grinning at him. ‘You have weird as fuck timing.’

‘No.’ Ross said. ‘It’s just I was sitting here and thinking that this is nice.’

‘Yes, it is.’ Jim couldn’t help smiling. ‘But you shouldn’t be making a decision based on nice.’ Ross’ dark brows drew down, and for a moment Jim thought he was upset. But then Ross moved, coming to straddle Jim’s thighs. He was a warm heavy weight in Jim’s lap, and Jim reached around him with both arms, letting Ross kiss him. It was slow, gentle. When they separated, he leaned his forehead against Jim’s.

‘You are the best thing that has ever happened to me, Jim.’ he said, his voice low. ‘I love you. I never want to let you go.’ The corners of his mouth quirked down. ‘Things feel like they are so fucked up, like they’ll never be right again. But in all of that, I have you and that makes everything okay. And you’re right. I don’t need to be out there. I need to be here with you.’

‘You say three days before I go away.’ Jim said. ‘We seem to be the masters of shitty timing.’ He sighed. ‘For what it’s worth I’m sorry. I’m sorry that Christmas happened and I’m sorry for my part in it. And I’m sorry that I’m going to be leaving you when you need me.’

‘You don’t need to be.’ Ross replied. ‘This thing with my family started way before you came into the picture. I think it would have happened eventually.’ He looked into Jim’s eyes. ‘I had to choose. And I chose the person who loves me unconditionally, who’s been there for me when I’ve been at rock bottom and hauled me back up again. The person who looks at me like I’m fucking perfect.’ He shook his head. ‘This is where I’m meant to be.’ 

‘I love you.’ Jim replied. ‘I just want you to be happy.’

‘And I will be.’ Ross said. ‘As long as I have you. Everything else is incidental.’

‘Well, that’s a given.’ Jim said. ‘You have me as long as you want me.’ They kissed again and this time there was heat to it. 

‘Can we go to bed?’ Ross asked, and there was the slightest hint of insecurity in it. Jim looked into the dark eyes and saw the question there. Ross was still unable to come out and ask for it directly, but he knew what he needed. Jim took his face in his hands and kissed him hard. He put everything he had into it, and when he pressed his advantage, Ross opened his mouth and let him in.

‘Go up.’ he replied, hearing how his own voice had roughened as the almost instantaneous surge of heat flashed through his chest. He tightened his grip and Ross’ breathing caught. ‘I will be right behind you.’ 

Ross got off of him and left the living room. Jim watched him go and then followed a few moments later, switching off the lights as he went.


	3. Deployment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim gets ready to go.

The night before Jim’s return to the Dragon, he was sitting on Ross' floor cross-legged and ticking things off on his list as he packed his duffle bag. Ross was on the bed, watching him with his chin in his hands and an expression that would not have been out of place on a sad puppy. 

‘Eight months.’ he said. ‘That’s two hundred and forty days.’

‘I know.’ Jim said. He shoved his washbag down the side of the duffle and packed a pile of t-shirts on top of it. 

‘Five thousand, six hundred and fifty hours.’ Ross continued. 

‘I get it.’ Jim said, giving him a subdued smile. ‘It’s a long time, I know.’ He sighed and kept on packing. ‘But it’s going to go quickly. And you’re going to be too busy with your new responsibilities to worry about what I am getting up to. And for once the watches are going to probably work in our favour.’ 

‘I suppose so.’ Ross said. He wriggled to the edge of the bed, letting his arms hang down to the floor with is chin resting on the duvet. ‘Bloody time zones.’ He watched Jim intently. ‘You promise you’ll email every day, right?’

‘I wasn’t the one that enforced our state of incommunicado the last time.’ Jim replied evenly and Ross felt a twinge of guilt. 

‘I’m sorry.’ he said. ‘I know I’m being clingy as fuck.’ He tried to keep the unhappiness out of his voice, but didn’t quite succeed. Jim sighed and then then shuffled across the carpet so he was sitting in front of Ross. 

‘You can be.’ he said. ‘And I promise I will email you every day. I’ll send you so many pictures of the Panama Canal, you’ll be sick of me by the end of the first week.’ He looked up into Ross’ eyes. ‘We’re going to be all right, Ross.’ He leaned up and kissed him. Ross nodded and gave him a half smile.

***********

They were still at the house, the hours ticking away. Ross had originally planned on taking Jim out for dinner, but this had stalled as they both realised that neither of them was in the mood. 

Jim was now cooking them dinner, spaghetti bolognaise which he was the undisputed master of. Carter and Holmewood had very kindly made themselves scarce, having already said goodbye to Jim before they left for the evening, so it was just the two of them. 

Ross was sitting at the table when the text came through. 

He frowned at it, then called the number. Verity’s voice was shaky when she answered.

‘Hi.’ she said, and the tears in her voice made Ross’ blood run cold.

‘What?’ he asked. 

‘I got a call today.’ she replied. ‘It was your father. He wanted me to come into the office and have a look at some paperwork. I thought it was for the business but when I got there…’ She stopped and Ross knew what was coming. 

‘It was for Nampara, wasn’t it?’ he asked. ‘Making you and Francis the heirs official I suppose.’

‘Oh God Ross, I am so sorry.’ Verity sounded dangerously close to tears now. ‘I told him I needed a couple of days to think about it. But you know Francis, he’s such a greedy little bastard he’ll agree to it straight away.’ Ross sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

‘Vee, it’s all right.’ he said. ‘It’s not like I didn’t know this was coming.’ He thought back to Boxing Day and the very unpleasant phone call from Olivia in which she’d informed him that Jim was not welcome to come to Nampara again. That had kicked off a massive argument which had resulted in threats of disownment and Ross finally telling her to fuck off and leave him alone. In hindsight, the fact that three days later he’d received an email stating that his parents had decided to do that very thing had not come as a shock. He was just thankful they had already left for Spain when he went to collect his car. He’d taken the opportunity to clean some other things out as well, leaving a surprising amount of stuff behind that he’d realised he had never wanted in the first place. When he’d finally driven out the gates his car had been filled with his polo gear, one suitcase of clothing he actually wanted to keep, a few childhood mementoes and a stash of his old paintings that he’d found in the attic along with a single photo album. Not much to show for a life. The anger and depression had only hit him once he’d gotten back to Bovington. He’d spent three hours on the phone to Jim, railing about the stupidity and bigotry of his parents and then refused to talk about it until that very moment. 

‘That doesn’t make it right.’ Verity protested. ‘This makes me so fucking angry, Ross.’

‘She told me I had to choose.’ Ross couldn’t even bring himself to say his mother’s name. ‘She said that they wanted no part of my life if I was going to flaunt my lifestyle in their faces and with someone who is so quote deeply disrespectful in their home. The thing is, never in a million years did they think I was actually going to choose Jim over them.’ He sat back in his chair, his face tight. Across as the stove, Jim hadn’t turned around to look at him, but Ross could see the tension in his shoulders. ‘But if they had listened to anything I had said or given me any consideration at all, they would have known that he was always going to be the one I chose. The house, the money, the business all mean fuck all to me. I have what I need right here with him. And if we had the same conversation today, I would say the exact same thing.’

‘But it’s your birth right, Ross.’ Verity said. ‘It’s our family history.’

‘And I can’t think of a more capable pair of hands it should be left in.’ Ross said, trying to sound reassuring. ‘Look, I traded that life in a long time ago. Even if they changed their minds and welcomed Jim with open arms, that’s not who I am anymore. And Jim’s exact words were that he had no interest in playing lady of the manor.’ That got a strangled laugh out of Verity. 

‘You’re so bloody stubborn.’ she said. ‘I love you very much, you know that. And you and Jim are welcome in our house whenever you want.’

‘Thank you Verity.’ Ross replied. ‘I love you too.’ 

‘You’ll call me tomorrow, won’t you?’ she asked. ‘I know it’s going to be hard for you and I don’t want you to go through it alone.’ 

‘Thank you.’ Ross said. ‘I’ll call you the moment I get back.’

‘Good.’ Verity said. ‘I’ll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?’

‘Night, Vee.’ Ross said, disconnecting the call after she’d replied. He put the phone on the table and looked up to see Jim leaning against the stove and watching him, his eyes grave. 

‘So it’s official.’ he said. 

‘They changed the trust today.’ Ross replied. ‘I am now officially homeless and broke. Ross Poldark is no more.’ He put his hands flat on the table top. ‘Christ, I would kill for a fucking cigarette right now.’ 

‘You’re being a tad overdramatic, aren’t you?’ There was a shadow of a smile on Jim’s face. ‘I mean, it could be worse.’ Their eyes locked and then the tension broke between them and they both started laughing. There was more than a hint of hysteria in it. 

‘Fuck.’ Ross sighed. ‘The worst part is that I’m sure I should be feeling upset. But all I feel is fucking angry, I want to roll over there and blow the place up.’

‘I think English Heritage would have something to say about that. I don’t think they like blue plaque buildings being blown up by tanks.’ Jim walked over to the table and Ross opened his arms to him. He walked into them, sitting down on Ross’ lap and putting one arm around his neck. ‘I’m so sorry, baby.’ 

‘Don’t be.’ Ross muttered into his neck. ‘I meant what I said. I would choose you over anything.’ 

‘Yeah, but you shouldn’t have to.’ Jim said into his hair. ‘They should love you without any strings attached to it. Everyone should fucking love you, because you are the most lovable thing in the world.’ Ross couldn’t help but laugh, although it came out choked. 

‘You’re biased though.’ he said. ‘You know what I can do with my mouth.’ That made Jim laugh in return and he kissed Ross hard on said mouth. 

‘Dickhead.’ he said. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ Ross said. He reluctantly let Jim go. ‘Come on, we should probably have dinner.’ He looked up when Jim didn’t move and was shocked to see the bereft expression on his face. ‘Hey, what’s this?’

‘Fuck.’ Jim said, and his voice cracked. ‘I don’t want to fucking go. I want to stay here with you.’ He shook his head. ‘This is the first time in my life where I don’t want to go back on the Dragon.’ He leaned his forehead against Ross’. ‘What the fuck have you done to me?’ Their eyes locked and Ross felt every emotion since Christmas that he’d tamped down bubbling up like lava through a vent in the rock. It felt like he was going to lose it if he didn’t try and at least show Jim all that he was feeling right at that moment. He reached up, grabbing the hair at the back of Jim’s head and pulling him down into a kiss that left their mouths bruised.

It was like tipping over an hourglass, the sand pouring through in an inevitable stream.

Jim kissed back with a ferocity that took Ross’ breath away. It quickly turned into a scuffle, with both of them pulling and pushing at each other until Ross finally got hold of Jim and held onto him as he struggled to his feet, dumping Jim on the kitchen table. Jim wrapped both legs around Ross’ hips, pulling him in tightly, his hands in Ross’ hair and his mouth opening. Ross dove right in, the kiss hard and messy, his hands yanking at Jim’s t-shirt until he could pull it over his head. They broke apart for only second and Ross chucked the shirt on the floor. They slammed back into each other, copper in their mouths as their teeth clashed. 

It was fiery and desperate and Ross reached for Jim, grabbing onto his thighs and bracing himself as he picked him up. Jim held on, arms around his shoulders, gasping as they only just made it to the wall. 

‘Fuck…’ his voice was choked with want. ‘Please, baby…’ Ross pushed them off the wall, moving through into the hall. They made it as far as the stairs and then they went over, Ross just managing to throw out a hand to let Jim down. He landed on top of him and Jim wrapped himself around Ross, legs open wide to accommodate him. His hands were under Ross’ t-shirt, nails dragging down Ross’ back as he thrust up against him. Their mouths connected again and Ross matched Jim’s rhythm, dry fucking him into the stairs like his life depended on it. He got to his knees, his hands on Jim’s jeans, undoing and unzipping until he could shove his hand down the front. Jim broke away from him, moaning loudly in the quiet house as Ross found his hard cock and wrapped his fingers around him. 

There were no words here now, just the sound of their commingled moans and harsh breaths. Jim now had his hand down the front of Ross’ sweats, his grip just the right side of tight. They watched each other, panting into each other’s open mouths. 

‘Fuck.’ Ross had to grit his teeth. ‘I need to stop. I am not going to last.’

‘No.’ Jim’s voice was frantic. ‘Please, don’t stop.’ His cock was leaking into Ross’ hand and he whined and arched up into Ross movements. ‘Make me come, baby.’ 

‘Jesus.’ Ross let him go, and dragged his hand out, grabbing Jim’s undone jeans and boxers and dragging them down his thighs until he could kick them off. He moved down, one hand at the base of Jim’s cock while he dragged his tongue over the head, licking up the salt. Jim was grabbing at his hair, pulling him, and Ross let him take over, opening his mouth and taking him in as deep as he could. He sucked hard and Jim cried out once, his hips jerking as Ross kept going.

‘Oh God, Ross…’ he whined. ‘Fuck, yes…come on.’ His hips moved faster and Ross had to pin him down, one arm across Jim’s stomach and the other on his thigh. He was hard now and he straddled Jim’s other leg, grinding down against him as best he could. He could feel Jim starting to shake uncontrollably and upped his pace, stopping only to stick his middle finger in his mouth and press it against Jim’s body, feeling the tip go in. He was trying to keep it together but then Jim reached down and grabbed his wrist and drove it all the way in. Ross took him deep again and looked up at him while he did it, his hand driving in in time with his head. Jim braced himself on his elbows to watch him, his pupils blown wide and his hair a mess. His head dropped back, ecstasy written all over his face. ‘Yes…’ he panted. ‘Oh baby, you feel so fucking good…’ He looked up again his eyes locking with Ross’. ‘Fuck me.’ It was sharp, an order that flicked all of Ross switches. ‘Fuck me till I hurt.’ He pulled off and staggered to his feet, shoving his sweats down and stalked into the kitchen, going straight to the cupboard for the emergency lube and then came back. Jim was still lying propped up on his elbows, cock hard and legs spread, and Ross stood over him and drank him in. He pumped the lube into his hands and then knelt down almost reverently between Jim’s legs, on hand on his own cock and the other going back to where it had been, two fingers this time, sliding in and working Jim open, feeling for that spot and pressing against it as they moved in and out. Jim lay there and watched him, his cheeks flushed and his mouth open, as he stroked his own cock slowly. Ross looked back at him.

‘I love you.’ he breathed. ‘You are everything to me.’ Jim let go and held out both hands.

‘Come here and fuck me, baby.’ he murmured, so soft Ross could hardly hear him. He let go and went, half falling onto Jim, kissing him frantically. There was a moment of pushing and pulling and then they were joined together, Ross driving home with one firm thrust. Their bodies impacted and Jim wrapped his legs and arms around him, hands splayed across Ross’ back. Their mouths connected and Ross started to move, slow and deep as he could get. He kept the rolls of his hips steady, watching the struggle on Jim’s face as he tried to keep himself together. 

‘Let go.’ he breathed. ‘Give it to me. I want it.’ Jim gasped and arched up against him and Ross went deeper on the next thrust. 

‘God, Ross…’ he whined. ‘The way you make me fucking feel…’ His nails dug into Ross’ sides and he locked his ankles at the small of Ross’ back. ‘Harder, baby. Make me take it…’ He bit down on Ross’ shoulder, his moans reaching fever pitch as Ross drove in hard and fast. The slip slide of lube and the tremors starting inside Jim made him lose any control he had and he reached for Jim’s hands one at a time, pinning his wrists down and getting onto his knees for leverage, fucking into him so hard Jim was shunted up the step. 

‘Please.’ It was almost a shout. ‘Harder…’ His eyes were locked onto Ross, his cries frantic and high pitched and coming with every drive inside him. ‘Fuck!’ he was bucking back into him now, legs sprawled open and Ross dropped his head and went as hard as he could, his own orgasm approaching at break neck speed. 

‘Fucking hell…’ he couldn’t keep himself quiet, his voice torn and broken. ‘God, yes…’ He dropped down onto Jim, face in his neck and the last few thrusts hitting just right and the taste of Jim’s sweat on his tongue. Jim all but screamed in his ear as he came, every tendon standing out as he bucked up into Ross. He clenched hard around him and Ross followed, the smell of Jim’s cum in his nose and the sound of Jim’s voice all he could process as the white lights exploded behind his eyes and he lost it, coming deep inside him. 

They lay tangled on the steps, breathing erratic and light, luxuriating in each other until their heartbeats started to slow. Ross let go of Jim’s wrists and Jim held onto him, pulling them so close together their bodies were completely connected.

‘I love you.’ he murmured in Ross’ ear. ‘I love you.’ Ross breathed him in, the salty ozone smell of Jim’s skin flooding his senses. 

‘I love you.’ he replied, feeling like if he opened his eyes and looked at what was leaving him the next day, he would stop breathing altogether.

********

They drove all the way to Portsmouth in silence the next morning, both too keyed up and still emotional from the night before. They had fucked for most of the night until neither of them could move. Jim had taken over when his body got too sore, shoving Ross’ face into the bed as he fucked him so hard it made Ross scream as the lines between pleasure and pain blurred again and again. 

The morning had been a series of necessary functions, showering, shaving and brushing teeth as they moved around each other like ghosts, neither of them wanting to speak in case they made it real. 

Ross looked over at Jim. He was gazing out the window of the Defender with that farway look on his face. Ross knew where to look and was rewarded with the faintest glimpse of mottled blue skin just showing at the line of Jim’s collar. They had been merciless with each other, marking and bruising and trying to leave themselves embedded in each other like it would matter, like it would make the distance and time coming between them feel less awful.

It hadn’t worked.

The docks at HMS Portsmouth were heaving. Ross got to park in the base parking courtesy of his MOD card and Jim unloaded his duffle from the back of the car. Ross got out, putting his beret on. Like Jim, he was in Number Ones again, and he waited for Jim to come around the side of the car. His face was grim, all sign of the sunniness that Ross loved so much gone. 

They walked to the dock. The Dragon was dressed in her pennants and families milled around with the sailors that were getting ready to deploy. Most people greeted Jim, but he could only manage a thin lipped smile as he walked to where the gangway was. Sellar was there already with Collette. Jim and Ross saluted him and he returned it.

‘All ready, Lieutenant?’ he asked. Jim gave him a brusque nod then turned back to Ross. Ross looked back at him, his heart thudding. 

‘You should go.’ Jim said. ‘I don’t know if I could take it seeing you down here while we leave.’ 

‘No.’ Ross replied. ‘I am going to stand here and watch you until I can’t see the fucking ship anymore.’ He wanted nothing more than to grab Jim and hold him and take him away so he could lock the world out and let it just be the two of them. He started to say something when Sellar gave Jim a touch on the arm.

‘Time to go, lad.’ he said, his voice gentle. He turned back and gave Collette a last kiss and then started to ascend the gangplank. Collette looked teary as she watched him walk up and onto the ship. She looked at Ross.

‘I’ll be here when you two are done.’ she said. Ross nodded to her and then turned back to Jim, who put down the duffle bag. 

‘Three hundred and fifty thousand, four hundred minutes.’ he said. 

‘I love you.’ Jim replied. He stepped into Ross space and put both hands on his face. ‘Don’t you fucking forget that.’ Then he kissed Ross, deep and slow and Ross felt his heart contract and ache in a way that he’d never wanted to feel again. He was so close to crying that it was giving him a headache.

‘I love you.’ he said when they parted. Jim nodded once and let him go. They looked at each other, and then Ross snapped to attention, saluting him and holding it. He saw the muscle in Jim’s jaw twitch and knew he was holding back tears as he copied Ross’ movements, his salute just as precise. Then he picked up his bag and walked up the gangway without looking back once. 

Ross stood and watched him disappear from view. Then he felt an arm slip through his. 

‘It never gets any fucking easier, if that’s any kind of consolation. Which it’s probably not.’ Collette said. 

‘No,’ Ross said. ‘It’s really not.’ 

They stood arm in arm, watching the ship pull away from the dock. The crew was standing along the rail, but Ross knew that Jim wouldn’t be there. He’d said as much. Then Collette tugged on his sleeve and pointed and he looked up and caught a glimpse of blond hair and felt like his heart was breaking. Still, he stood and watched and Jim raised one hand, not a wave but just an acknowledgement and Ross did the same until he couldn’t see him anymore. 

The Dragon left the harbour and Collette wiped her eyes on her sleeve. 

‘Fuck it.’ she said, then looked at Ross. ‘Do you have to be anywhere tomorrow?’

‘No.’ Ross said, still watching the departing ship. Then he looked at her and his hazel eyes were shiny with unshed tears. ‘Why?’

‘Because I need someone to go get drunk with and you are fucking perfect.’ Collette sad, taking his arm again. ‘Come on Captain, let’s go drown our sorrows and get hammered.’

‘What a fucking brilliant idea.’ Ross said and followed her.


	4. Long Distance Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's been two weeks.

Jim came off watch feeling tired as hell and ready to eat a horse. He looked at his watch and calculated the time difference. It was just after eight in the morning which meant it was one UK time. Ross would still be at work for another four hours at least. That meant Jim could get some sleep in before trying to contact him. He considered his immediate options and decided that food was his first priority. His watch had been largely uneventful and he was looking forward to a cup of tea and breakfast. Before he headed to his cabin to crash out and get ready for the next watch. While he was used to nights, the heat and humidity was draining and he was more fatigued than he usually was. That had been added to by the emotional strain of the first two weeks without Ross and now he was pretty much exhausted.

The canteen was predictably busy as people came off watch and prepared to go on. Jim got himself breakfast and a mug of tea and found a quiet spot at the back. He sat down and started eating but was interrupted when Preston spotted him as she came in. They were currently on the same watch rotation and usually ate together if they could. She went and got her own breakfast, then joined him. Jim noticed that her usually sparkly grey eyes were dull with fatigue.

‘You get that glitch fixed?’ he asked and she shook her head.

‘It’s on and off.’ she replied, digging into her scrambled eggs like a woman possessed. ‘Of all the fucking things to go tits up, why did it have to be the air conditioning?’ She heaved a sigh. ‘As you can imagine, it’s not making us very popular.’ Jim gave her a sympathetic look, grateful as ever that his watches were either spent in the Ops Room or on the bridge, and not down in the bowels of the ship. The fact that it was summer in the Caribbean meant they were all hot and tired as they tried to adapt to the change in climate and away from the dull grey British winter.

‘Let’s hope it’s nothing too serious.’ he said. ‘I heard that the Defiant had a total blackout mid-Atlantic.’

‘Fuck, can you imagine?’ Preston shook her head. ‘Well, hopefully they’ll have it sorted by the next watch. I don’t fancy being down there in thirty-eight degrees plus again. It’s like a sweat box down there.’ She sipped her tea. ‘What are you going to do after this?’

‘Get some sleep.’ Jim replied. ‘Talk to Ross hopefully.’ Preston watched him, her face thoughtful.

‘You okay?’ she asked. ‘You’ve been a little quiet.’

‘I’m coping.’ Jim said, which was the honest truth. ‘Some days are better than others.’ Preston reached over and put a hand on his arm briefly before going back to her breakfast. They finished the rest of their meal in silence.

After they returned their trays, they headed down to the accommodation corridor and Jim dropped Preston off at her cabin before proceeding to his. Inside he switched on the light, noting that it was like a sauna, and cursed the lack of air conditioning. He stripped off his uniform and climbed into his bunk, not bothering with clothes. His lap top was lying there in wait and he checked his emails as he was now in the habit of doing when he woke up and also when he came off watch. He smiled as his inbox opened and he saw the first subject which read bloody fucking rain again. Ross, he had learned, really didn’t believe in punctuation as a concept. He clicked on it and started reading. There were also several pictures attached.

_Hey babe_

_It’s bloody raining again. Fuck this weather. Fuck the bloody army. I miss you. Carter said he’s packing it in if it keeps pissing on his head. The back garden is flooded and I have bloody fucking field trials all week. I love you and please send some fucking sun. If you love me you will._

_Did I mention I love you? Because I do._

The pictures were of the range at Tyneham, the ground churned into a soupy morass, and Carter giving the camera the finger and looking extremely grumpy under his wet weather gear. Then he’d obviously stolen the phone off Ross because the last one was of him. Carter had caught him in mid swipe for the stolen phone. He was laughing and he had his helmet off, his hair a mass of curls from the rain. It made Jim’s heart ache and lifted his spirits in equal measure.  
He closed his laptop and stowed it away then fell back down on the bed, switched the light off and went to sleep.

********

Ross climbed out the Land Rover and stomped across the parking lot to the training building, a two story brick building obviously built during the Victorian period judging on the complete lack of heating. His was in jungle fatigues, his uniform and boots streaked with mud and more than a little damp. Thankfully the top of him, concealed under his weatherproof parka, was dry. He was finally done for the day and more than looking forward to getting home and into a hot shower before he skyped Jim.

He got inside and removed his beret and parka and wandered down the corridor to his new office. Being in the training department meant that he was responsible for writing reports on the recruits in his squad and now he had an actual desk he could call his own, complete with a rather antiquated computer that he tended to eye with suspicion. His new CO, a man called Barrymore, had put him in with three other training officers and they had proven to be a friendly bunch that had taken him in and made him part of the team very quickly. He was now even on the official biscuit rota. He’d found that they were largely like him, two other men and one woman who’d served with the Tank Regiment and been invalided out of frontline service, so he was in good company.

He got to the door and saw that Elliot was at her desk and that she wasn’t alone. There was another officer talking to her, the crown on his shoulder flashes indicating he was a Major. He turned and Ross saw a full head of thick light brown hair, a red weathered face and a pair of twinkling blue eyes.

‘Ross,’ Elliot said as he came in. ‘This is Major Litchfield. He was just looking for you.’ The man turned to look at Ross and Ross immediately straightened up and was about to salute when Litchfield laughed and waved his hand at him.

‘Christ don’t do that.’ he said, holding out his hand. ‘I promise I’m here on pleasure, not business.’ Surprised, Ross shook his hand. Litchfield’s grip was firm and forthright and he looked at Ross curiously with an affable expression. ‘So you’re the protégé that got away.’ Ross frowned.

‘I don’t quite follow.’ he said and Litchfield chuckled.

‘Perhaps a pint will illuminate things.’ he said. ‘If you’re done for the day, can I suggest we move this to the mess?’ Ross looked at Elliot, who gave him a smile.

‘Get while the going’s good. That’s what I say.’ She said and Ross turned to Litchfield and nodded.

‘After you, Major.’ he said.

They ran across the base to the Officers Mess in the driving rain and found a couple of empty seats once they got inside. Litchfield came back from the bar, two pints of Guinness in his hands. He put Ross’ down in front of him and took his seat across the table.

‘Thank you.’ he said. ‘But I’m still at a bit of a loss.’

‘Well, it’s very simple.’ Litchfield said. ‘I’m in the Supply Corps, Logistics. I’m based here at Bovington and I live just outside Dorchester with my lovely wife and five brats and I am as happy as a clam. The only thing that makes me happier is knocking a ball around a field and winning.’ He sipped his stout and made a loud noise of appreciation. ‘I’m the current serving captain of the Regiment’s polo team.’ That made things fall into place.

‘Ah.’ Ross said. ‘I take it no-one’s thought to inform you that I haven’t played for the last seven years.’

‘That is neither here nor there.’ Litchfield said. ‘The thing is that when you did play, you were fucking good. I saw you a couple of times.’

‘That was a long time ago.’ Ross said. He looked at Litchfield. ‘Why are you interested anyway? I would have thought you’d have a full team.’

‘I did.’ Litchfield said. ‘And then my back went and got himself married and his missus decided that having him get shot at every day was a piss poor way to start married life so he got himself discharged and is now suffering under the yoke of public service’ He raised his glass. ‘The poor bastard.’ He drank deeply and then put his glass down. ‘So I am currently without a fourth and I need to start training for the next season. You’re young and I suspect reasonably fit. What do you say?’

‘I honestly don’t know what to say.’ Ross replied. ‘I haven’t even thought about polo in an age if I’m being honest.’

‘We have a pool of ponies, although we also have our own.’ Litchfield said. ‘We stable them at the barracks centre a couple of miles outside Dorchester. The livery is deducted from your pay, but the rates are more than reasonable.’ He looked at Ross. ‘Do you have your own ponies?’ Ross thought of Felicity, living in happy retirement at Maggie’s house.

‘One.’ he said. ‘But she’s been out of it as long as I have.’

‘Well, that’s all right.’ Litchfield grinned. ‘One sniff of the ball and she’ll be right back into it. Just like you, I’d wager.’ He drained his glass. ‘You want another.’

‘No, thank you.’ Ross said, his mind racing. ‘I actually have to get home. My partner’s currently on the Dragon and he’s going to be calling me in about an hour.’ It slipped out so naturally, that it took him a moment to realise that he’d just said ‘he’ in front of Litchfield. He went quiet and Litchfield noticed, then surprised Ross by laughing.

‘I think you’d fit in with us just fine.’ he said. ‘And our Two, who’s going to be out new back, will be delighted to no longer be the token gay, as he puts it. To be honest, Ross, I don’t give two hoots about who you shag, so long as you can hit straight and ride off like a tank.’ He said it casually and then it sank in. Ross raised his eyebrows.

‘Oh.’ he said. ‘I see. In that case, would you mind if I thought about it and got back to you.’

‘Not at all.’ Litchfield said. He dug in his pocket and took out a card and handed it to Ross. ‘My department number’s on there. Give me a call when you’ve made your decision and we can meet up with the rest of the lunatics and talk things over.’

‘I’d like that.’ Ross said. He stood up and Litchfield followed suit so they could shake hands. ‘It was nice to meet you.’

‘Likewise.’ Litchfield said.

**********

Jim woke up and looked at his watch, something he now did as a matter of course. It was just after one in the afternoon, which meant that Ross should have gotten home. He rubbed his eyes and switched on the overhead light. The cabin was cooler, which meant that the air conditioning had obviously been fixed. His naked skin broke out in goose bumps as a wash of cool air blew over him. He sat up and stretched then retrieved his laptop and opened it, his heart skipping a little when he saw Ross was online. He tapped out a quick message and waited. The call came though almost immediately and then Ross was there on the other side. Jim could see that he was sitting on his bed. He was wearing the regulation black t-shirt he wore under his fatigues and his hair was a mess.

‘Hi baby.’ he said and Ross’ sunshine smile filled the screen.

‘Hi yourself.’ he said. ‘You okay?’

‘Just woke up.’ Jim stretched again. ‘The air-con’s been on the blink for two days so we’re all a bit on edge. It’s fucking hot down here.’

‘Don’t.’ Ross shifted and the laptop swayed alarmingly. ‘I think I am actually going to get fucking stuck in a mud hole some time this week.’

‘I thought tanks just rolled over mud.’ Jim said, settling back and getting comfortable. The clawing feeling in his stomach was abating as he luxuriated in being able to see and hear Ross.

‘They do, but the idiots in my squad running after them don’t.’ Ross laughed. ‘You can’t see, but I am actually just mud from the waist down. I haven’t even had a chance to shower yet.’

‘Really?’ Jim said. ‘You get home late?’

‘A little.’ Ross said. He chewed on a nail. ‘Actually someone came to see me today.’

‘Yeah?’ Jim said. He noticed that Ross was keyed up. ‘Someone good?’

‘Could be.’ Ross replied. ‘He’s the captain of the regimental polo team.’ He looked at Jim and Jim could see that he was gauging his reaction.

‘And how do you feel about that?’ he asked. Ross gave him a little one shouldered shrug which Jim knew meant he was torn.

‘I don’t know.’ he said. ‘I haven’t played for ages and I’m not really fit.’ He went back to chewing on his nail. Jim decided to take the bull by the horns.

‘That’s not what’s bothering you about it though.’ he said. ‘It’s him.’ Ross looked away and Jim could see the tightening in his jaw. ‘Ross, that was a long time ago. You’re not the same person anymore.’

‘I know.’ Ross said. ‘I guess I’m just still thinking about the connection.’ He sighed and picked at the duvet. ‘I gave up because of him.’

‘Well, maybe it’s time to take it back.’ Jim said. ‘Start again for you this time. You want to reconcile your past. This is a good way to start if you ask me.’

‘Do you really think so?’ Ross asked, his voice just a touch uncertain. It made Jim want to climb through the screen and put his arms around him, hold him and chase all the shadows away.

‘I do.’ he said. ‘You are so much stronger than you used to be, and I’m really really proud of you because for all the shit you’ve been through in the past year you’re still fighting.’ Ross looked at him and gave him a small smile.

‘I love you.’ he said and Jim reached out, fingers to the screen. Ross responded, doing the same so for all intents and purposes they were touching.

‘I love you too, baby.’ he replied. They looked at each other and then the tension broke and Ross sat back.

‘Anyway enough about me moaning.’ he said. ‘Tell me about your day.’ Jim laughed and sat back as well.

‘Well, it was a lot less eventful than yours.’ he said. ‘We had a power failure in Engineering so no air con for twenty-four hours.’

‘Christ, that must have been fun.’ Ross said. ‘I’m amazed you haven’t all killed each other.’

‘And Jackie’s had to go to sick bay for emergency dental work.’ Jim said. ‘She’s got an impacted wisdom tooth. She should be coming back tomorrow. Thank fuck, because Billie’s been a bitch without her. Oh, and we should get to the Caymans tomorrow, so I’m going to be spamming you with pictures of how pretty they are.’ He grinned as Ross rolled his eyes at him.

‘Thanks for that.’ he said, the sarcasm colouring his voice. ‘I would rather have something more interesting to be honest.’

‘All right.’ Jim said. ‘We’re getting a hurricane in about a week according to the Met department.’ He hadn’t expected the reaction he got, but Ross sat up straight.

‘What?’ he asked and Jim was surprised by the serious note of concern in his voice. ‘Are you fucking serious?’ Jim backtracked.

‘It’s fine.’ he said soothingly. ‘It’s not even going to hit a Category Three. The Dragon’s been through lots of these and so have I. The last one we were in was a three and all it did was knock the comms out for a few days. If I can, I’ll send you some video of when it hits. It’s pretty immense.’

‘To you maybe.’ Ross still didn’t sound happy. ‘I could live knowing that you are well out of it.’

‘We probably will be.’ Jim said. ‘We usually make sure we’re well out of the danger zone, so don’t worry.’ He looked at Ross. ‘What can I do to distract you from this?’

‘Nothing.’ Ross said gloomily.

‘Really?’ Jim said. ‘So if I told you I’m not actually wearing anything under this you wouldn’t be interested?’ Ross brightened visibly.

‘I might be.’ he said. There was a little catch in his voice and Jim knew he had him.

‘Go lock you door and I’ll show you.’ he said and was rewarded with a smile. Then Ross got up and disappeared. Jim heard him lock the door and when he came back, he was shirtless and looking a lot happier.

‘So, about this show and tell.’ he said, one hand trailing down his chest suggestively. ‘Who gets to go first?’ Jim laughed.

‘I do.’ he said.

‘You bastard.’ Ross laughed. ‘That’s just not fair.’

‘Just using my strategic advantage.’ Jim pointed out. ‘I have to do something to cheer up your moody arse.’ He was pleased to see the frown had smoothed out on Ross’ face. ‘In all seriousness though, I think it would be a really good thing. You should do it.’ Ross looked thoughtful.

‘All right.’ he replied. ‘I’ll look into it.’ He then leaned out of view and came back with a bottle of lube. ‘Now, are you going to shut the fuck up and get going, or am I kicking things off?’

‘Fuck you Poldark.’ Jim laughed and lay back on his pillows.

‘Christ, I wish you could.’ Ross said. ‘I currently have the worst case of sexual frustration in Southern England.’

Really?’ Jim was now feeling incredibly smug. He had planned what he was about to do meticulously. ‘In that case, look under your bed.’ That stopped Ross in the middle of undoing his belt. He looked up with an adorably confused expression.

‘Huh?’ he said. ‘What do you mean under my bed?’

‘I bought you something at Christmas, but I didn’t give it to you because of all the shit that was going on.’ Jim said. ‘To be honest I kind of forgot about it. So I stuck it under your bed in case of emergencies.’ He watched the confusion turn to trepidation.

‘Jim, what did you get me?’ Ross asked.

‘If you look under your bed, you’ll see.’ Jim said. He was now getting more than a little turned on by the idea of what would come next. Ross frowned a little then put the laptop to one side and leaned off over the bed, giving Jim a magnificent view of his arse in his fatigues. ‘Christ, you’re wearing the uniform. I’m actually sorry that has to come off.’ He watched as Ross resurfaced with a present wrapped in hideously bright red paper with little penguins all over it. ‘So merry belated Christmas and Happy pre-Valentines Day.’

‘Can I open it?’ Ross was turning the gift around in his hands before lifting it and shaking it.

‘No, dickhead. I want you to just sit and look at the fucking thing.’ He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling too much and giving the game away. Ross snorted and then ripped the paper off. His hazel eyes widened as he stared at what was in his hand.

‘Jesus Christ.’ he said. ‘What the fuck is this?’ He looked at the screen and Jim wanted to moan because he saw the distinct look of arousal on Ross’ face.

‘Something for you to play with.’ he replied. ‘And something to keep me entertained as well.’

‘It’s blue.’ Ross said. He was already making short work of the packaging. He got it out and then held it up. ‘It doesn’t look as big as you.’

‘It’s not, but baby steps.’ Jim laughed. He was ridiculously hard now. ‘Now take your fucking clothes off and I’ll tell you what I want you to do with it.’ Ross smiled, and it was wicked.

‘I think I may have an idea.’ He chucked the vibrator on the bed and stood up, turning the laptop so Jim could watch him strip off his clothes. ‘And the best part is that no-one’s home except me.’ He got back on the bed, and Jim felt a flash of heat go through his chest at the sight of Ross naked and now sprawled out on the bed covers, his pale skin and dark body hair contrasting with the charcoal grey.

‘You’re going to fucking kill me.’ he said and Ross turned onto his side.

‘I bloody hope not, Hawkins.’ he said. ‘I am very much looking forward to you coming home. Two weeks down, only thirty more to go.’ He rolled over onto his back, and Jim could see he now had his hand on himself. ‘I’m going to lock us in a room and make you fuck me until I can’t walk.’ He looked at Jim. ‘How much time have we got?’

‘Enough.’ Jim shifted so the laptop was between his knees and then threw off the bed covers. There was a sharp intake of breath as Ross caught sight of him. ‘Hang on, though. Don’t start without me.’ He scrambled off his bunk and went to dig in one of the storage lockers where he kept his clothes and washbag. He found the lube and walked back to the bed with it, his heart rate picking up exponentially. He got back on his bunk and saw that Ross was now lying facing the laptop which was obviously situated fairly precariously among the pillows. He had his legs open. It was enough to make Jim lose all his previous focus.

‘Thought this might get your attention.’ Ross’ voice was smug. ‘You like what you see, Lieutenant?’

‘Very fucking much.’ Jim replied, getting back into position. ‘Fuck, I miss you.’ He slicked up his hand and then started touching himself, his strokes slow and with just enough pressure. ‘Show me.’ He watched as Ross reached for the vibrator. ‘No, put your fingers inside first. And go slow.’

‘Yes, sir.’ Ross’ voice was starting to get breathy and soft. He felt around for the lube, and Jim watched as he used it on himself, the light from the bedside lamp reflecting off the wetness. He spread his legs wider and reached down between them. Jim watched him work himself open, slowly just as he’d asked, and quickened his own hand. The sight of Ross’ own fingers disappearing inside him had always done it for Jim, and was possible the single best benefit of being on deployment. Ross was bolder when they had nearly five thousand miles and two laptops between them.

‘Go harder.’ he said and Ross moaned as he followed the order. He was bowing off the bed now, his legs jerking involuntarily. ‘Fuck baby…you have no idea how much I want you right now.’

‘Believe me, I do.’ Ross gritted out. ‘I would fucking take out everyone on this base just to have your cock inside me.’ The way he said it so easily sent a shiver through Jim.

‘Put it in.’ he demanded, not caring how rough his voice was. ‘I want to see it go in. I want you to imagine it’s me.’ Ross reached for the vibrator, using the lube to slick it up and then moved it down. He traced light circles with it and Jim had to squeeze himself hard to stop from coming, holding himself at the edge. He stopped long enough to reapply and then carried on, but this time he had his own fingers in play, his head filled with images of how Ross did it. The first one went in easily, but Jim was impatient so the next one burned a little. He kept his eyes on the screen and then gasped as Ross pushed the vibrator the first bit of the way in, his body opening to accept it.

‘Oh God.’ he blurted out. ‘Okay that’s way better than I thought it would be.’ He moved his hand and Jim watched it go all the way in. ‘Holy shit, that’s good.’

‘Turn it on.’ he said and Ross felt down until he could flick the switch at the bottom. The effect was immediate.

‘Jesus fucking Christ!’ He was almost shouting. ‘Fucking hell.’ He reached for the duvet behind him, grabbing and twisting it until his knuckles were white. ‘Oh God…’ He was almost writhing on the bed and Jim stared at where his hand was working the vibrator in and out, almost violently.

‘That’s it.’ he breathed, his own body so close now that all it would need was a little push. ‘Come for me.’ Ross let go of the duvet and moved his hand to his cock, jerking off hard and fast as he started to make noises like a pack of howling dogs.

‘Fuck yes…oh fuck, Jim.’ His voice was bordering on hysterical and his whole body was moving convulsively. ‘Christ, I’m going to come so fucking hard…’

‘Don’t stop.’ Jim was panting, his own body starting to shake as he felt it coming on. ‘Don’t fucking stop, Ross. Come for me baby. Let me hear you scream.’ He watched as Ross jerked violently, coming onto his hand and stomach before he let go and followed, hitting his head against the back of his bunk as he pushed down onto his own fingers. He had to stifle the cry that wanted to escape, knowing that he’d probably made too much noise already.

It took a while for the noise in Jim’s ears to subside and the tremors inside him to stop. He pulled his fingers out and lay still as his breathing started to slow. He could hear the sound of the vibrator turn off and looked up to see Ross easing it out. Then he fell back on the bed, and Jim could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest.

‘So, you like your present?’ he asked and Ross burst into breathless laughter.

‘I like my present.’ he said.

*********

After they were both finally able to string sentences together again they spent the next hour chatting about everything and nothing. Jim checked his watch.

‘I should probably get up.’ he said. ‘I need to do some stuff and get ready for watch.’

‘Okay.’ Ross replied. He was now back in his t-shirt and a pair of grey sweats. ‘I miss you, babe. But it’s not so bad this time. I am glad I can speak to you. I think as long as we can do this and I can see you, I’ll be okay.’

‘Well, you have a captive audience.’ Jim replied. ‘I can’t exactly go anywhere.’ He kissed the tips pf his fingers and put them to the screen. ‘I love you, Ross.’ Ross smiled and copied the gesture.

‘I love you too.’ he replied. ‘Same time tomorrow?’

‘Same time tomorrow. Sleep well, baby.’ That got a final quirk of Ross’ mouth and then he disconnected the call. Jim was used to that now. Ross hated saying goodbye. He closed his laptop and climbed out of his bunk and started getting ready for his day ahead.


	5. The Calm before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ross goes to visit the two ladies in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A massive thank you to my wonderful friend deanohell who helped me slash and burn my chaoter outline like a pro. Thank you my love <3

Ross pulled up outside the Admiral Benbow and looked at the front of the pub, memories coming back to him. He switched off the engine and undid his seatbelt, remembering the many happy evenings he’d spent inside while he was recuperating with Rose. 

He got out, shutting the locking the car door behind him, then walked into the pub. As usual it was warm and welcoming, a blazing fire on the go already even though it wasn’t even twelve yet. He was greeted by a pair of cheery dark eyes and a smile that spread across Jeffrey’s wide face.

‘Ross!’ he bellowed, coming round from behind the bar, his chef’s whites covered in something that looked suspiciously like blood but which Ross suspected was actually raspberry coulis. ‘It’s good to see you.’

‘You too, Jeff.’ Ross replied, returning the smile and accepting the hug that made his ribs creak. Jeffrey was as strong as an ox. ‘How’s Trish and Mona?’

‘Good.’ Jeffrey’s face was proud. He was a ridiculously devoted father. ‘I have about a thousand pictures to show you.’ Ross laughed. He was about to enquire as to Rose’ whereabouts when she emerged from the kitchen drying her hands. 

‘There’s my other boy.’ she said, discarding the dish cloth and holding out her arms. Ross walked into them and wrapped his own around her, heaving her briefly off her feet and making her squeal like a teenager. ‘Hello duckie.’

‘Rose.’ he replied and set her back down. She looked at him critically. 

‘You look tired.’ She declared. ‘Are they making you work too hard?’

‘It’s a lot of things.’ he said and she nodded. 

‘Let me get my coat.’ she said. ‘We can take a walk back to the cottage. I made pie.’

*********

They were on the beach and Ross kicked at the smooth stones washed up by the tide.

‘How are you doing?’ Rose asked and he looked up at her.

‘Not too bad.’ he replied. ‘I’m kind of at a point where not much is surprising me.’ He huffed a humourless laugh. ‘I’ve become quite an expert on Caribbean weather patterns.’

‘Well, that’s good.’ Rose moved in next to him, taking his arm. ‘What I really meant was how are you coping with the other thing?’

‘I got the official paperwork this week.’ Ross said. ‘It was very simple. My parents are nothing if not thorough. As of Monday, Verity and Francis are the official heirs to Nampara and Poldark Incorporated. I get nothing that I didn’t take with me.’ He glanced at Rose and saw that the same line had appeared between her brows that appeared between Jim’s when he was angry. The previous year it would have hmade his heart ache, but now it comforted him. 

‘There is so much wrong with that, I don’t know where to begin.’ Rose snorted. 

‘It’s all right.’ Ross said. ‘I’m not exactly destitute. And all of my trust payments ended up in my savings account anyway so I have plenty of money.’ 

‘That’s not the point.’ Rose said firmly and Ross smiled. She was very good at making him tackle things head on.

‘I know it’s not, but to be honest I am not prepared to pretend I am not who I am. It’s not fair to me and it’s not fair to your son either. I love him and want to be with him and they have decided that they don’t want to know about it. They can’t have things both ways.’ Ross shook his head. ‘And it’s not like my whole family has decided to shun me. A fair number of my family seems to have figured out I was gay long before I brought Jim home for Christmas and have absolutely no problem with it.’ 

‘So long as you’re okay with that.’ Rose said. ‘It’s my priority to make sure both of my boys are happy and thriving.’ 

‘I know.’ Ross smiled and squeezed her arm. ‘I am going to make sure that I have completely supplanted him in your favours before he gets back though. Just so you’re aware.’ Rose laughed.

‘I have enough love for both of you.’ she replied. 

They got to the pathway that led up to the cottage and climbed along together. Rose let them in at the back door and Ross was immediately hit with the smell of savoury pastry and steak and Guinness filling.

‘Jesus that smells amazing.’ he said, shedding his coat and beanie. ‘I think I want to move back. The commute will be worth it.’ Rose chuckled and stooped to pat the dogs who’d scampered in from the living room to greet them.  
What exactly are you going to do about that?’ she asked. ‘Jim said you’re mostly down at Tyneham now. It must be a right pain having to drive back and forth.’

‘It is.’ Ross said. ‘But I have to do it. I can’t really afford a place on my own right now. Even with my trust savings, I don’t really want to commit to a mortgage. Not with the property market the way it is.’

‘What if there were two of you to share the costs?’ Rose said, moving to get a pot out the cupboard. 

‘What do you mean?’ Ross asked as he moved next to her and accepted the potato peeler she handed to him, then filled the pot halfway with hot water from the tap. He took it to the kitchen table, then went back for a plastic bowl and a few potatoes. Rose was very traditional and believed that pie wasn’t pie if mash and gravy weren’t involved. He sat down and started on the potatoes. 

‘I mean that you and Jim have been playing this cat and mouse game for the better part of almost two years now. I saw how happy you two were when you were here last time, even with all the shit that was happening.’ Rose said. ‘Maybe you should consider living together.’ Her words made Ross stop what he was doing, as ideas whizzed through his brain.

‘Would he want to?’ he asked. ‘I accidentally asked him to live with me and he kind of freaked out.’

‘How do you accidentally ask someone to live with you?’ Rose laughed. 

‘Long story.’ Ross said. ‘I’ve always been under the impression that Jim was burned really badly by living with Greg and he’s never wanted to put himself I that position again.’ 

‘That was Greg, love. This is you.’ Rose said. ‘Believe me when I say that Jim never loved Greg anywhere near how much he loves you.’ She took the pot and peeled potatoes from him and placed them on the counter, cutting them up briskly before putting them on the stove. ‘Do you want my honest opinion?’

‘Always. ‘Ross replied.

‘I think that you and Jim ground each other in a way that few people get to have.’ Rose dried her hands off and went to the kitchen, taking out the milk. ‘It’s been almost two years and you have both been through every kind of hell and back. This shouldn’t be a scary decision compared to some of things you’ve had to cope with.’ She came over the table and tilted Ross’ face up to look at her. ‘All I’m saying is that maybe you two should take the jump. Just something to think about.’

After lunch, Ross walked Rose back to the pub and dropped her off. He was en route down the coast to Cornwall and Maggie’s house to stay the rest of the weekend. She wanted to talk to him about what had happened with his parents and he hadn’t seen her since he’d left Nampara on the back of Jim’s bike. 

He took his time, not wanting to chance anything on the ice February roads, and it was another five hours before he got to Maggie’s house. He drove through the crumbling entryway gates and up a twisted drive lined with trees until he got to the grey stone building. By the time he’d parked and got out the car, Maggie was standing in the doorway. She was wrapped in a massive angora cardigan and smiled when he approached, bag on his shoulder. 

‘Get inside.’ she said, standing aside to let him pass. ‘It’s not fit for man or beast out there.’ Ross went into the hall and she closed the door behind her. The house was old, dated from the seventeenth century, and the wooden floorboards creaked under his feet. It had been the house of a minor relation in the Poldark heritage and Maggie had received it when his great-grandfather had died. ‘You’re up in the Blue Room as usual.’ She led him through to the drawing room once he’d taken off his coat. ‘Rachel has made Cullen Skink and roast chicken for dinner, so we’ll eat when you’re settled in. In the meantime, we need to have a little chat about how obstinate your parents are being.’ She smiled and moved to the drinks trolley and poured him a rather large scotch then came back and handed it to him. ‘Sit. We have a lot to discuss.’ 

‘Before you start, let me just say that I am fine and I am perfectly content with what has become my lot in life.’ Ross sipped the whisky and winced. ‘Jesus, what is this?’

‘Talisker.’ Maggie said cheerfully, settling into her armchair. ‘Now I’ve been thinking…’

‘Oh God.’ Ross said and took a large gulp. She glared at him.

‘None of your cheek, young man.’ She sighed. ‘I have tried to talk some sense into both of them. Sadly, there is little sense to be had in the Nampara household at present. Your mother absolutely loathes Jim and your father is following merrily in her footsteps.’

‘Yes, because of the entire eight hours that she spent in his presence.’ Ross said bitterly. ‘She didn’t even bother to try and get to know him.’

‘Which is precisely why I have decided to do this.’ Maggie said and then dug down the side of her chair. She came out with a piece of folded paper and handed it to him. ‘Here.’ Ross frowned and took it, balancing his whisky on the arm of the chair and unfolding it. When he saw what it was his eyes widened and he looked up at her, the shock clear on his face.

‘Maggie, you can’t’ His voice was shaking almost as badly as his hands were, but she reached across and took one in hers, the wrinkles soft and the skin almost paper thin but the underlying strength was there just like it always had been.

‘I can and I shall. This is nothing to me, a drop in the ocean. You’ll get a hell of a lot more when I finally exit stage left.’

‘Still, this is…’ he looked at the cheque again and the seemingly enormous number of zeros after the number. ‘Why?’

‘They have deprived you of a home. You’ll need one to replace it. This is enough to get you something decent. Something that you can call your own without being beholden to that family of yours. Christ, I would like to murder your parents for what they’ve done.’

‘They had their reasons.’ Even now, a month later, it still hurt so much more than it should have.

‘Reasons!’ Maggie’s voice was as sharp as a well-kept knife. ‘What reasons? The fact that you refused to marry someone you don’t love just so she can pop out a couple of brats and your parents can think that they’ve done their service to the gene pool. Bollocks to that is what I say. Take the bloody money, Ross. Use it to buy you and that beautiful boy of yours a place where you can play house and be happy and have as much athletic sex as you both wish.’

‘Maggie!’ He was mildly scandalised.

‘Oh please, I was in my twenties once. I know what you young people get up to. Even if you hadn’t announced it at dinner.’ she retorted with a smile. 'And I certainly heard enough evidence to confirm that fact later that evening you’ll recall.’ Her dark eyes were sparkling.

‘Fucking hell. You know that’s what she said kicked it off?’ Ross said, leaning back in the chair. 

‘Nonsense. Your mother had a bee in her bonnet about it the moment she set eyes on him, believe you me. I think she saw someone there that she had absolutely no chance of manipulating, unlike that simpering child you used to be entangled with and who she very ungraciously wrangled into the house under false pretences.’ Maggie said, her voice flat.

‘I suppose, when you put it like that.’ Ross replied. He looked at the cheque again. ‘Thank you.’ 

‘You are very welcome. But you know I’m right. Not only that but the rest of the family all think they are being utterly ridiculous and have told them so in no uncertain terms. But you know your father. He’s as stubborn as the day is long.’ she said, sipping thoughtfully.

‘I wouldn’t know anything about that.’ Ross replied and she raised an eyebrow at him. Ross couldn’t help the smile that came to his face. Maggie always seemed to bring that out in him.

‘Don’t you smile at me like that, Ross. You are far worse when you’ve put your ears back.’ Maggie said. ‘Now tell me about this man that came to see you about playing again.’

‘He’s in the Logistics Corps.’ Ross said. ‘His name’s Freddie Litchfield. He’s nice. We’ve been out for drinks a couple of times with the others from the team as well. The other two are Edgeware and Carlisle.’ He smiled. ‘I like them. And it would be good to keep my mind off things while Jim’s gone.’ 

‘Well you can test your legs tomorrow.’ Maggie said. ‘I’m sure Felicity will be delighted. She’s gotten positively fat.’ She tilted her head at the sound of dishes clattering. ‘I think dinner’s ready. Did you bring your gear with you?’

‘I have my old gear.’ Ross said. ‘I’ll probably get some new things once I’ve decided if I’m going back in.’

‘The mere fact that you are here with your gear and that look in your eye means you’ve already decided.’ Maggie said with a knowing smile.

*********

Ross woke up early enough for it to still be dark. He got up and showered then dressed in a t-shirt and thick hoodie and a pair of old jeans, butter soft and worn so well they clung to him like a second skin. He pulled on his riding boots, tugging the jeans down over them, then got up and went downstairs. 

The walk to the stable block took about five minutes and when Ross got there the place was in darkness. The lights in the groom’s flat were still off and he went into the barn to find that the four horses were still partly snoozing, with one exception. But then, Felicity had always been an early riser. 

She looked at him over her stable door, sharp ears pricked up, and nickered softly. Ross walked over and she dropped her velvet muzzle into his hands. He smiled and rubbed between her eyes.

‘Hey there, pretty lady.’ he murmured. ‘It’s been a long time.’ He picked up her grooming kit and let himself into her stall. It didn’t take long, the muscle memory kicking in as he brushed her down and picked out her hooves. Felicity was her usual self, standing quietly for him to groom her and occasionally swinging her head around to nose at him. Ross chuckled and pushed her head away. He tacked her up and led her out. As he was going out, Maggie’s groom Neil was coming in. 

‘Morning Ross.’ he said. ‘You taking the lady out for a ride?’

‘Just seeing if I still have the moves.’ Ross laughed. Once outside, he considered seeing if he could still vault on then decided better of it. He hadn’t been on Felicity in over a year and was well aware of the dangers of possible muscle pulls from being too ambitious. She was perfectly behaved, standing like a statue as he pulled out the stirrup and then hauled himself on, settling himself into the saddle and giving her a gentle squeeze to get her moving. Felicity moved into a trot and Ross turned her in the direction of the large flat field behind the stable block.

It was still intensely cold and Ross’ muscles complained at the long forgotten usage but his balance was still spot on and when they hit the open ground Ross gave Felicity a kick and she accelerated easily into a smooth canter. He took her in a series of figure of eights, changing legs and letting her warm up. Felicity felt much the same he was pleased to note, her impeccable breeding and training coming to the fore. And the longer he rode, the more Ross eased into it, his body waking up and responding to the once familiar warm ups until he was ready and could feel Felicity’s muscles bunching underneath him in anticipation.

He rode her to the end of the field and turned her in then gave her a hard kick and Felicity took off like she was rocket powered. She galloped down the field and Ross let her go until she got the end and reined her into a tight turn that she executed perfectly before she thundered back up the field. The old feeling of exhilaration lit up inside him and Ross laughed as they zig-zagged back and forward across the field. But the time they got to the top again, he was breathless. They slowed, Felicity’s breath steaming in the cold air. Ross slapped her neck and smiled crazily. He’d forgotten just how much he missed riding. Suddenly Jim’s encouragement made a lot of sense. 

‘I think we’re back, girl.’ he said, and Felicity snorted loudly as if to say it was about bloody time.


	6. Foreshadowing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim wakes up on the morning of the hurricane and Ross and Rose take a field trip.

_The boy ran along the beach, laughing as his father chased him. He zig zagged across the sand, but his short legs made him easy prey. In no time he was caught and hoisted into the air, screeching with high pitched laughter as he was swung around. His father laughed with him, then brought him down so he was sitting astride a pair of broad shoulders. The boy felt happy and he leaned down to kiss his father on the head, getting a chuckle in reply._

_They spent the morning on the beach together, watching yachts sail out of the small harbour and looking for stones and other interesting debris. His father found a particularly nice on marked with bands of slate grey and white and smoothed by the waves. He pressed it into the boy’s hand and he took it, holding it to his chest and looking up at the blond man with adoration etched on his face._

_The next morning his father left as he inevitably did, his navy uniform perfectly pressed and his officer’s cap under his arm. His knelt down and kissed the boy goodbye on the forehead and their eyes met._

_‘I’ll be back…’_

_‘Before I know it.’ The boy smiled, knowing the words by heart. His father put his hand to the boy’s face and smiled in return, deep dimples in his cheeks just like the boy’s own._

_‘Good lad. You look after your mum for me?’ The boy nodded, his eyes dry even though the previous day’s joy had been replaced by a deep sadness. He wanted to be brave and never cried, but he did lean into him and his father responded, pulling the boy into his arms and holding him tight. ‘I love you. I’ll be back soon, I promise.’_

_‘I love you too.’ The boy whispered into his father’s shoulder._

_It turned out to be a promise his father couldn’t keep._

********

Jim woke with a start. The cabin was dark and he lifted his arm to check the time indicated by the luminous hands of his watch. It was a little after three in the morning and he had a little under five hours before he had to be on watch. He lay back down, one arm flung above his head. He hadn’t dreamed about his father in a long time. It unsettled him, especially having that particular scenario replayed in his head.

He huffed and sat up when he was a little more awake. The time difference meant that it would be juts after nine in the morning in the UK. Ross would with any luck still be in the office, probably having his second or third cup of coffee and checking his emails. Jim considered emailing him to see if he could skype, but then gave up and lay back down. He didn’t want to worry him unnecessarily, especially seeing how tense Ross was about the forthcoming bad weather which had turned out to be more like ten days in arriving than eight. It was due to hit them some time later that night, but hopefully they would be safe in Belize by the time it arrived. In any respect, the Dragon would be more than equipped to handle the swells it would bring, although the policy was never to purposely be caught in a storm if a hole was available to take refuge in.

Jim could already feel a difference in the way the Dragon was pitching and yawing, the more severe angle making her movements feel like he was on a very large rocking horse. It didn’t bother him though as he was more than used to rough seas and even enjoyed it. They had left the Cayman Islands the afternoon before and were due to arrive in Belize City that afternoon, twenty hours later after cruising at their top speed of 18 knots. The wind would be with them so it was anticipated that they would be safely tied up in Big Creek Port and protected from the worst of it.

Jim pondered his next course of action. He could perhaps lie in bed and read a bit. That always soothed him after bad dreams and he had started reading Duma Key again. Eventually he decided to go with that, at least until he fell asleep again. He reached over head for the switch to the overhead light of his bunk and then frowned when nothing happened. He flicked a few more times, but there was no response form the light.

Jim frowned in consternation and sat up. He got out his bunk and felt his way to the locker at the foot end, retrieving his Maglite from inside and switching it on. He also took out a t-shirt, pulling it on as he balanced the torch, and then headed to the door and opened it. So his surprise, the entire corridor was in darkness. He watched as another Lieutenant from the Communications Department walked past with a caving torch on his head.

‘Brett? What the fuck’s going on?’ he asked and Brett grinned.

‘Electrics are pissing about. There’s no lights on this deck at all. The Skipper’s going spare.’ he replied. ‘Engineering has gone to all hands to try and sort it out.’

‘Bet that’s made them happy.’ Jim said. ‘It’s been nothing but one fuck up after another the last two weeks.’

‘Tell me about it.’ Brett said. ‘At least the major systems haven’t been affected. Or the galley.’ He gave Jim a cheery salute and went on his way. Jim watched the bobbing light disappear and decided to go back to bed.

He was up and ready for watch three hours later and headed to the wardroom. The Dragon’s pitching had gotten a little worse and it took from his cabin to the upper deck to get his balance right. He found Sellar and Fletcher in the wardroom and Sellar called Jim over. Jim got himself a cup of coffee and joined them.

‘I’ve just been to meteorology.’ he said. ‘She’s coming in a little stronger than previously anticipated.’

‘Wind speeds?’ Jim asked and Sellar and Fletcher looked at each other.

‘Could get as high as eighty five knots.’ Fletcher said. ‘We need to be out of the way.’

‘I’m going to get a couple of hours, but I’ll be back on the bridge.’ Sellar said. ‘I don’t like the looks of this and the electrics have been dicking around.’

‘I saw Brett and he said that none of the major systems have been touched.’ Jim said. ‘Touch wood.’ They all rapped their knuckles on the wardroom table.

‘Let’s hope so.’ Sellar said. He drained his coffee. ‘Anything untoward and you call me asap.’ Fletcher nodded and they watched him go.

‘So how many will this be for you?’ Jim asked and Fletcher grinned.

‘Too many.’ he said. They finished their coffee and got up to head to the bridge and their watch.

*************

Ross had taken a week to think about things. He’d taken the cheque and deposited it while he figured out what to do with it. A place to live had never been of particular concern to him as he was always assured of having accommodation at Bovington, but it was true that the travelling had started to take its toll and Bovington was a pain to commute to and from every day when he spent all his time either at the range or at the auxiliary station on the range where he had his office. He really only needed to be at Bovington one day out of the five so finding somewhere closer to home was a good idea. Then there was the fact that Holmewood and Angie and Carter and Demelza were happily discussing their intentions of future cohabitation after what he’d told them and thought that him moving in with Jim was a grand idea, so he’d sat down and thought and thought for ages. It was a luxury he had because Jim was literally halfway around the world, and besides his new regime of polo practice, Ross had precious little else to occupy his time.It was the reason he was here now. Ross sighed and looked around the living room and then at Rose who raised an eyebrow at him in exactly the same way her son did.

‘No.’ she said.

‘That’s what I thought.’ Ross replied and looked at the estate agent who was regarding them with hope on his chiselled features. ‘Sorry, not for us I’m afraid.’ They left and In the Land Rover, Rose picked up her notepad and drew a line through another address.

‘Bloody hell.’ Ross muttered. ‘This is like trying to find a fucking needle in a haystack. How hard can it be to find something?’

‘It’s the property market, duckie.’ Rose said. ‘We’ve still got three places to have a look at.’ Ross started the car and they pulled out and kept going onto the next appointment. This one took them a little further afield. Ross had been dubious about including this house in the list of properties he was going to see, but Rose had insisted. She’d seen something in it that he hadn’t.

He wasn’t quite sure why he was actually looking at places less than a fortnight after having the conversation with Maggie. Once he’d gotten back to Bovington, he’d called Rose and the conversation about his living arrangements had continued. She’d suggested that they take a day and just see what was on offer and which areas would be good. She’d also pointed out that Jim loved forward planning and that if Ross wanted to ask him to move in with him that it would be better if he could have something to show him as evidence.

They drove down the A351 and then turned onto Grange Road. It was a long stretch with not much to see, the land on either side mostly hidden by trees. The shadows and dappled sunlight on the road made it look like something out of a storybook and Ross immediately started to feel like this might be a good prospect. It was also quiet as anything and he found it surprisingly relaxing driving along the road. The best thing of course, was that Tyneham was a hop, skip and a jump from this particular house.

Rose was counting side streets, and after they passed through Creech she turned to him.

‘After Steeple we need to go right and it’s the second left.’ she said, and Ross frowned. There were no sign posts to be seen at all.

‘Christ.’ he said, ‘We really are in deepest, darkest Dorset.’ Rose laughed.

‘You wanted quiet.’ she pointed out.

‘Yeah, but not entirely lost to civilisation either.’ Ross replied. They got to a crossroads and a sign that said Steeple and he dutifully turned right. The land between the trees was nothing but fields. On the left Ross couldn’t help but notice that there was an abundance of horses and that caught his attention. Felicity was now stabled at the Dorchester Army stables, but maybe he could bring her home during the off season of there were places around that would do livery. They got to the second left and turned down a narrow lane. It was still tarred and there was a turning point halfway down. The road itself was lined with gnarled trees, oaks mostly from the look of them.

‘Well, this looks lovely.’ Rose said.

‘It will be a bitch in winter if it snows.’ Ross replied and she laughed again and poked him in the arm.

‘That’s why you have a Land Rover.’ she pointed out, then sat up straight. ‘Oh look, this must be it.’ Ross stopped the car and he looked through the window at a drive that turned into the left. It was nothing more than a dirt track. There was no boundary fence or anything to indicate that there was a house down it except for a gate with the words Cove Cottage written on the front in black paint. He looked at Rose and she shrugged.

‘This is the only place it could be.’ she said. Ross got out and opened the gate, then turned the car into the drive and they went up, the Land Rover taking to the uneven surface easily. The drive was also thickly treed and it was only after they gone about fifty yards that the trees on either side opened up, and the cottage came into view.

Now Ross wasn’t one to subscribe to feelings or vibes, but he did believe strongly in instinct. His had saved him from more hairy situations that he cared to admit, and of course the best decision he’d ever made had been purely instinctual, something about Jim just dragging him in like a magnet. And looking at the cottage in front of him, Ross felt another of those feelings.

It was small, that much he could see, a lot smaller than some of the things he and Rose had already looked at. There was a red car parked just to the right of the house, directly in front of a garage that didn’t quite match the period of the house. Ross parked behind it and he and Rose got out.

Now he could see that the front garden was a tangle of overgrown plants and a small pathway that disappeared into the undergrowth towards the road. The house itself was red brick with a thatched roof. The windowsills and front door had peeling paint and the flower beds outside the house were thick with weeds, but Ross could immediately see the potential. He looked at Rose and saw that she was smiling from ear to ear.

‘It’s gorgeous.’ she said then looked at Ross. ‘Don’t say a thing, let me do all the talking!’ She strode past him and knocked firmly on the door. Ross went to stand behind her and the door opened. The estate agent was an older man, grey haired and cheerful looking.

‘Good morning.’ he said and Rose gave him a dazzling smile. Ross grinned as the man responded in kind. The assault had begun.

Ross had often wondered about Jim’s character, how much of it was Rose and how much of it was Rob or Eddie. But watching Rose at work with the estate agent, whose name was Mike, he could tell that Jim had definitely inherited his considerable charm offensive from his mother. She had Mike by the arm and was asking him what seemed like a millions questions. This meant that Ross had the chance to look at the house for himself.

He was standing in a hall that ran towards the back of the house with a window at the end. The hall itself was narrow with plain white walls and thick cut scarred wooden floorboards underneath his feet. To his immediate right was the kitchen and on his left were two doors. The first one opened into the living room as he found when he went through, hearing Rose and Mike talking in the kitchen. The floorboards continued through and he saw that there was a fireplace and wood burner with bookshelves built into the walls on either side. It wasn’t a big room but it was perfectly suitable and would take a sofa against the wall easily. The window at the front was a wooden frame sash window, very large and allowing light to flood into the room. No doubt it would catch the morning sun beautifully. The walls here were also whitewashed and the starkness of the colour against the dark wood of the floor and the beams overhead made Ross think of Rose’s own cottage. He had no doubt that Jim would love it.

He heard Rose calling him from the kitchen and left the living room. He found her opening cupboards and generally doing a thorough inspection. The kitchen looked like it hadn’t been changed since the early days of the house’s previous tenants, who they’d been told was a couple in their eighties. It was straight out of the fifties, with bubble glazed cabinets and a mint green formica work surface. It was beyond kitsch and Ross loved it. There was a built in white Aga, no dobut dating from that period as well. Ross was running her hands over it in a manner that told Ross she coveted it greatly.

‘These are amazing to cook on.’ she said to him with a grin and then turned to Mike. ‘Is it wood-fired?’

‘Yes.’ he replied. ‘So is the heating. It and the boiler run off the cooker.’ Rose nodded approvingly. She had the same set-up in her cottage.

‘Good, that will keep costs down and Jim’s a dab hand at upkeeping these.’ she said to Ross. Ross nodded in reply. The floor under his feet was flagstone and it reminded him of his own home. He’d always loved the kitchen, preferring it to any other room in the house.

‘There’s another room at the back.’ Mike said, and led the way through a door at the back of the kitchen which came out into a utility room with plumbing for a washer and a massive Belfast sink. This room had a paned door that looked out over the back garden. Ross looked at Mike who gestured. ‘Be my guest.’ He said and Ross opened it and stepped out into the back garden.

This was equally over grown, but there was still a decent expanse of lawn that could be seen and a rickety looking wooden shed at the bottom.

‘Honestly I have no idea what’s in there.’ Mike laughed. ‘Could be dead bodies for all I know.’ He winked at Rose and she gave him a flirtacious smile. Ross bit his lip to keep from snickering. Rose clearly already had the estate agent eating out of her hand.

‘What’s behind us?’ he asked and Mike made an expansive gesture.

‘Fields.’ he said. There’s a stud farm about two miles down the road and they own pretty much everything around you.’

‘That explains the horses.’ Rose said to him. ‘Personally, I think that’s going to be a problem.’ She looked rather concerned all of a sudden and it took Ross a few minutes to catch on to what she was doing.

‘Oh, yes.’ he said turning to Mike. ‘My partner really doesn’t like horses all that much.’

‘Oh.’ Mike sounded a little crestfallen. ‘Well, maybe she’ll be able to overlook that.’ He looked at Rose who suddenly cracked up with laughter.

‘Oh no, my dear.’ she cackled. ‘It’s my son who’s Ross’ partner, not me.’ She and Ross both waited for the inevitable look of confusion and then the fleeting glimpse of disapproval which had accompanied a couple of faces when they had mentioned the fact that other would-be owner of the house was a man as well. Thankfully though, Mike seemed unfazed.

‘Oh well, you’ll just have to convince him then.’ he said to Ross. ‘Look, why don’t you go scout out the house for yourself and I’ll keep your charming mother-in-law occupied so you can nose about in peace.’ Ross cackled even louder at that.

‘I’ll bet mothers-in-law all over Dorset love you.’ she said to Mike and took his arm again. ‘Now how far down does this garden go?’

Ross left them to it. He went back inside and closed the door behind him. The house was perfectly quiet and it was absolutely wonderful. He knew that it had no near neighbours, but the news that he was surrounded by horses made Ross very happy. He walked back through the kitchen and into the hall, stopping to open the second door.

It was a smaller room, wooden floored like the others with overhanging beams. The fireplace in here was still and open brick range. It also had a window, this one oriented for the afternoon sun, but the window was smaller. Something ticked in the back of his head, and Ross knew what this room would be perfect for. He contemplated it, thinking of how easily any noise would be hidden.

The next stop was the stairs, which were a little uneven, and then up to the first floor. At the top of the staircase was a low beam and Ross had to duck ever so slightly to get under it. That led him onto a small landing. There were three doors. The first was to a shower room. The next was to a box room and the last was to the main bedroom, which ran most of the length of the roof, with dormer windows on either side. There was another fireplace, this one tiny and with a cast iron grate, and finally another bathroom on the other side. Ross stood in the doorway and that was when he saw it. In hindsight it was probably the single thing that sold him on the whole place.

‘Ross?’ he heard Rose’s voice as she climbed the stairs. ‘Are you up here?’

‘I’m in the bedroom.’ he called.

‘Which one?’ she called back and then walked in. ‘Oh, this is nice.’ She came up next to him and he stepped back so she could see what he was looking at. ‘Oh dear God. You’ll never get him out.’

‘Probably not, but he’ll love me forever.’ Ross was grinning. They both turned back and looked at the cast iron claw foot bath tub that could have happily accommodated a rugby team.

Downstairs Mike was waiting for them with a conspiratorial smile.

‘You two don’t fool me.’ he said. ‘You love it.’ Ross and Rose grinned at each other.

‘Guess he’s found us out.’ Ross said and Rose gave Mike a stern look.

‘But just because you have, doesn’t mean we’re going to be pushovers.’ she replied and Mike chuckled.

‘So do I negotiate with you then?’ he said. ‘And if so, do you do dinner?’ His blue eyes were twinkling, and Ross was very amused to see a light blush on Rose’s cheeks.

‘I might do.’ she said. ‘But wouldn’t that be horribly unethical?’

‘Probably.’ Mike said cheerfully. ‘I tell you what, why don’t I get the owners on the phone this afternoon and see how negotiable they are as that’s obviously what you’re angling at.’

‘Excellent.’ Rose replied. She gave Ross a meaningful look. ‘Why don’t you give it one more turn around the park and Mike and I will start hammering out the details.’ Her eyes were sparkling with intent and Ross had to stop the look of surprise crossing his face. He’d never ever seen Rose act in this way before.

He did as requested and went back to wander around the house one more time. As he did, Ross could picture how he and Jim might fit into the space around him, and a warm glow lit up in his chest. A space that would be theirs, not his or Jim’s or having to be shared with anyone else. Theirs to do what they wanted with, to grow into and to have nothing else but each other to worry about.

It was a very nice thought. By the time they got into the car, he was convinced.

‘I want it.’ he said to Rose. ‘I want it for us.’

‘I thought you might.’ Rose said, smiling at him. ‘When are you going to ask him?’

‘When I can get hold of the bugger.’ Ross replied. ‘He said they would be moored in Belize by tonight. I’m glad they’re going to be out of it.’ He started the car and reversed out the drive. Mike was standing in the doorway and Rose waved at him. ‘Also, what is that?’

‘What is what, love?’ she asked, all innocence. Ross laughed and pulled out into the street. ‘And I am also very glad they’re out of it. It kills me every time this happens. Unfortunately the little shit fucking loves it. He’s going to bore you stupid with all the details.’

‘Well, I’ll have to wait for a lull in conversation then before I ask him.’ Ross said.

‘If I may say, it’s about bloody time.’ Rose replied.


End file.
